Our reactions depend on various reasons. There are a few cases where we take up generalized issues and see that most of us react in the same way. Let’s say when it is too hot, most of us prefer staying at home but professional commitments overshadow our wishes.
There are issues where all prefer to react differently. The conflict arises when we expect someone to react in a particular way but the concerned person chooses to react in his own way and this is quite different from we had expected!
We must consider the fact that there are factors working when people end up doing things the way they do. There are a few reasons which work individually or together like a guiding force before one reacts.
The first one is personality or character of a person which is often determined by his family background. Here family background has nothing to do with wealth or possession. It is about the traits passed down from one generation to the other, genetically. It is not that people from socially distorted background are the ones who are weak, when they have other things working in their favour, it helps them to react appropriately.
Second, parenting skills play a very important role in shaping one’s outlook. Psychology feels that childhood is the age of absorption and formation and this should always be taken care of. If discipline is inculcated in the formative stage, the child grows up to be a person who is sorted and balanced. If anyone has a disturbed childhood, it surely affect the lifestyle and the mental health of the child when he or she grows up. For example when children go through parental alienation he or she grows up to be an adult who faces depression /anxiety issues and they also have adjustment issues. Being too strict or being too lenient with someone leads to problems. So a balance always helps and allows people to react independently.
Thirdly, the environment of a person also plays a pivotal role. Before judging a person, it is important to see the kind of people who form the concerned person’s immediate circle and the environment he or she grew up in. He may not be from a healthy environment but he has put in efforts to lead a proper life; this is also seen in many cases but a person’s surrounding mostly plays an important role in framing the way he looks at things.
Fourth, the internal state or mindset. Most of the times we are taken aback on seeing a person’s casual or unusual reaction. A person’s way of being rude or harsh reflects that he or she is going through internal frustration. A person with the negative mindset or a negative bent of mind can never reflect positivity. Being too harsh or rigid from within often affects one’s reactions.
We need to be empathetic whenever necessary. Empathy can be a good medicine for bruised hearts. The broader one’s horizon is, the better life becomes. The more we label people based on their reactions, we narrow our mental vision. Being motivated or demotivated by other people’s reaction also turns pernicious. More focus must be on individual performance and not on mass reaction. It is important to realise that what we see at the surface level is very different from what one is going through. It is always better to energise our souls instead of taming others. We all are different and radiating peace and joy is our own way of helping ourselves.